what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
