what day is it and did you see me today?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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