After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
