By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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