Please, let me fuck your mom
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
