i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
