Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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