i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
