I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
