it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
