Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
