Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
