Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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