Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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