Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
