Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
