Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
