if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
