Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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