I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I don't deserve a penis
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
