capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
