The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
