i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
