just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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