Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
