I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
