Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
