Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
