the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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