so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
