that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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