I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
