she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
