i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
