I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I have tasted many bathrooms
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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