Jerry, you need to find god
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
