fuck your aforementioned shoe
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
