So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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