I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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