it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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