Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
