Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
