I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
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