I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
vagina is talking i cant
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
