OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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