I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
