all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
