lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
