Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
