My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
