She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
