and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
